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| Oddie - mentioned later |
The other day I was filmed delivering a lecture.
Not for some cheeky
straight to web piece; not even for the small screen. This was full widescreen,
cinematic, IMAX threatening celluloid. Or broadcast quality Betamax or
something.
For one afternoon, I was a Business School lecturer. I know
nothing about Business but wasn’t hurled off the set, so my ‘acting’ – by
definition - was a storming success. I was pleased to get the gig, too. This
was a chance to leave the surveys and spreadsheets behind and wave my arms
around while warbling and waffling about ‘what an entrepreneur is’ and what
SWOT stands for (you learn something new every day folks <ahem>).
My
evident success stands in contrasts to my screen cv leading
up to that point:
- man crossing road in unreleased film which
certainly involved my old flat mate, Ched, and possibly one of the Coppolas (but
not FF or S)
- one of a three bother team on Bill Oddie’s History Hunt which, thankfully, hasn’t
surfaced on the internet (I’ve looked so you don’t have to)
- man on bike in indie film ‘playing the
festivals’ (it’s called The Same Circles and is very good)
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| 'Me crossing road' footage from first film mentioned above |
The theatre is not my first love.
My two stage appearances were forgettable and came more
years ago than I care to imagine
- Police detective with designs on the school
caretaker in a Slip End Lower class-written musical theatre production about a
vampire, who rather dominated proceedings with some outrageous overacting;
- ‘Old Man’ in Upper School production of Brecht’s The Good Person of Szechwan. Or ‘Good Woman’ as it was. My painfully boyish looks and mountains of talc alienated the bejesus out of an audience of tense, bored parents wondering why the hell they weren’t watching Gilbert and Sullivan.
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| Village ways |
Acting as a Business lecturer allowed me to step out of the
day to day while keeping both feet in it. There was a nightmarish quality in
apparently holding an audience in the palm of my hand, telling them that “in
order to run your own business, you need to start a business”. Over and over
again. So many times, in fact, that I started wondering if I hadn’t unearthed
some hidden wisdom and shouldn’t nip off somewhere and write a self-help book.
I hope and assume our real Business lecturers do a better
job.
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| On set with Clearhead |
Was being on a film set what I expected?
No. Though we were cued in with the word ‘ACTION!’ Plus, I
learned that ‘kino’ is not only French for cinema, but also one of those big
‘sun bed on a tripod’ type lights and exchanged some terrific cross-generation ‘bants’ with my joint
lead, Harry, who as an acting student, looked more comfortable than I did about
our fictitious student/teacher relationship. Presumably, these exchanges will
make the outtake reel.
I was impressed, too, with the assured organisation and
management of the process– kudos both to our Marketing team and
Clearhead.
Of course, my secret hope is that I’ll get picked up, not by
the CMA, but by David Puttnam or someone. I’m not a betting man, but reckon on
a 40% chance of being on the arty channels within the year. Two at a push.
Anyone in the business note; I will not do reality, soaps or shopping channels.
Perhaps next year, when I’ve moved into BAFTA contention, you too could be in
our cinema ads. Get in touch with the Marketing team; we’d love to hear from
you.
That applies to a guest spot writing on this blog too – if
you want to join our illustrious writers and have something to say about
Marketing and Communications at the University of Bedfordshire, let us know
by clicking here. Otherwise, please favour us with a comment below, in the comments box. We'd love to hear from you.